It's so hard to hear here.

I cannot hear you. So much around me, so many people talking, so much of this world, I can't hear you. I need you to YELL at me, scream, make your prescence known please! I can't hear you.

This is what my heart is saying to God. This is what my human fleshy self is saying to God, and all the while like a parent he says, "I will not raise my voice, you need to listen." I need the sonar of a bat to hear God tell me what he needs to say. I cannot tell when he is nudging me to do something, say something, or even to make an inquiring facial expression. Because I cannot hear him I have this pit in my soul and I feel it everyday, and I know I cannot feel this burning that usually happens in my chest when I think deeply.

I have made my heart weak and I want to breathe, bleed, feel, and live Christ. I need to do something within me so epic, so life changing that I don't even know how I got there. I need to listen.

Peace.