What is today but another day spent in progress. The progress of humanity, industry, politics, science, and chaos. Yet I can't spend a day without Christ on my mind. I can't spend a day not trying to figure out ways to progress in the name of Jesus. Am I against progress? No not at all I just think we get consumed by it. I never want to be consumed completely with the progress of worldly things. Because this world will not last. It is destined to fail.
I want to progress the Kingdom. I am on this earth therefore I must respect the wishes of my worldly leaders unless it goes against the things Jesus told us. I answer to a Kingdom not of this world I am ready to further it in this world so many can be saved when we finally enter this Kingdom.
I feel an urgent call. I feel the flame inside of me writhing with impatience. My mind is alive with thoughts of the future, and possibilities. I'll keep praying about this progress and the progress of those who lives for the Kingdom
Peace.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
I wanna know what it's like...
You know that song that has the lyrics "I wanna know what it's like, to live in heaven" well I've been thinking about those words. I am so eager to find out what heaven looks like, I wanna know what perfection is, I wanna feel the sweet release of this world.
To never be sick, poor, wealthy, or lie, cheat, or anything that humans are apt to do. To be whole, to feel the purity and completeness and peace, man....sounds so amazing. Not only to feel complete but to meet the one that made us able to be complete.
Jesus, the one that saved us, to be fully surrounded by his love without distraction is my ultimate goal. To meet the God that created this world and loved us even before we were created, to be wrapped in his arms and to physically hear the words from his lips "I love you daughter" will be the happiest moment of my new life.
There are a lot of "to be's" in this blog but dang, its gonna be sweeter than sweet. I feel myself yearning for the day that I am with my savior and creator. Down to the very tiniest molecule of me belongs to to Him and I cannot wait to leave that molecule here on earth and take the non-fleshy me back to Him. I love Him so much.
Peace.
To never be sick, poor, wealthy, or lie, cheat, or anything that humans are apt to do. To be whole, to feel the purity and completeness and peace, man....sounds so amazing. Not only to feel complete but to meet the one that made us able to be complete.
Jesus, the one that saved us, to be fully surrounded by his love without distraction is my ultimate goal. To meet the God that created this world and loved us even before we were created, to be wrapped in his arms and to physically hear the words from his lips "I love you daughter" will be the happiest moment of my new life.
There are a lot of "to be's" in this blog but dang, its gonna be sweeter than sweet. I feel myself yearning for the day that I am with my savior and creator. Down to the very tiniest molecule of me belongs to to Him and I cannot wait to leave that molecule here on earth and take the non-fleshy me back to Him. I love Him so much.
Peace.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
ready ready ready
I am a very impatient person. I am a "I want it now" kind of creature. I am taming myself to not be so urgent, to let my eager spirit rest and wait for exciting things to come. Some material, some not so material. For example, I REALLY want an ipod..now but I can't have one just yet because I can't but soon! I REALLY want to get back to school....now but, again, I can't because the time has not yet come. I REALLY want to go on an overseas missions trip........now but...you get the gist.
So much I want now. So much I feel like I can't wait for. For me the future must be now. But this is where I must let go of the control I so feel I should have. Most of what I want now is not material, I want knowledge, experience, exposure, culture, and most of all I want to be the tool that God uses to bring many close to Him without taking the credit. So much rests in his hands and I am all to willing to rush things along.
My mother always said to me and my sisters (and we HATED hearing this phrase) "your time will come." Now that I think back maybe she should've worded it a little differently such as, "His time will come for you." I never took this phrase seriously nor did I ever want it in my life, but it proves true today. Never will "my time come" but rather His time will come to call me, to urge me along. Funny how destiny is all about timing, Gods timing.
Peace.
So much I want now. So much I feel like I can't wait for. For me the future must be now. But this is where I must let go of the control I so feel I should have. Most of what I want now is not material, I want knowledge, experience, exposure, culture, and most of all I want to be the tool that God uses to bring many close to Him without taking the credit. So much rests in his hands and I am all to willing to rush things along.
My mother always said to me and my sisters (and we HATED hearing this phrase) "your time will come." Now that I think back maybe she should've worded it a little differently such as, "His time will come for you." I never took this phrase seriously nor did I ever want it in my life, but it proves true today. Never will "my time come" but rather His time will come to call me, to urge me along. Funny how destiny is all about timing, Gods timing.
Peace.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Fire
I realized something today, I have a fire. For a long time I thought my "fire" dulled a bit and it hurt me to thing of this. Today I realized it was still there, all along. I know its still there because
I found that I am not complacent with life and 21 out of the 24 hours out of the day I am thinking about Jesus, or the word, or something in that context.
I love the thought of getting back to school and learning about Christianity, I can't wait to do so many things for the glory of the Lord I almost come to tears. I have no complacency in my life I am ready to move. I'm urgent in this because I feel it bursting inside of me waiting to explode into the world.
There is so much left inside of me that I am so excited to understand what is planned for my life I can't contain it.
Peace.
I found that I am not complacent with life and 21 out of the 24 hours out of the day I am thinking about Jesus, or the word, or something in that context.
I love the thought of getting back to school and learning about Christianity, I can't wait to do so many things for the glory of the Lord I almost come to tears. I have no complacency in my life I am ready to move. I'm urgent in this because I feel it bursting inside of me waiting to explode into the world.
There is so much left inside of me that I am so excited to understand what is planned for my life I can't contain it.
Peace.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I dream of the days...
Today is another day that I sit in my head and dream of the days when I will be out on the missions feild. I guess I'm getting impatient and I want to start learning more about missions, every component, all the "ins and outs." I want to go on my first missions trip and feel something profound. Although I'm almost 100% sure that this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, I still want that first experience where in my downtime, in my peace I want to think, "yeah this is what He wants me to do for rest of my life."
Thus I am super excited to get to school and learn more about missions and the Bible in general. I screwed up the first time but not again, this time I will make a difference in my life and possibly others but only with the help of God. I cannot do it myself.
Peace
Thus I am super excited to get to school and learn more about missions and the Bible in general. I screwed up the first time but not again, this time I will make a difference in my life and possibly others but only with the help of God. I cannot do it myself.
Peace
Sunday, July 12, 2009
It's so hard to hear here.
I cannot hear you. So much around me, so many people talking, so much of this world, I can't hear you. I need you to YELL at me, scream, make your prescence known please! I can't hear you.
This is what my heart is saying to God. This is what my human fleshy self is saying to God, and all the while like a parent he says, "I will not raise my voice, you need to listen." I need the sonar of a bat to hear God tell me what he needs to say. I cannot tell when he is nudging me to do something, say something, or even to make an inquiring facial expression. Because I cannot hear him I have this pit in my soul and I feel it everyday, and I know I cannot feel this burning that usually happens in my chest when I think deeply.
I have made my heart weak and I want to breathe, bleed, feel, and live Christ. I need to do something within me so epic, so life changing that I don't even know how I got there. I need to listen.
Peace.
This is what my heart is saying to God. This is what my human fleshy self is saying to God, and all the while like a parent he says, "I will not raise my voice, you need to listen." I need the sonar of a bat to hear God tell me what he needs to say. I cannot tell when he is nudging me to do something, say something, or even to make an inquiring facial expression. Because I cannot hear him I have this pit in my soul and I feel it everyday, and I know I cannot feel this burning that usually happens in my chest when I think deeply.
I have made my heart weak and I want to breathe, bleed, feel, and live Christ. I need to do something within me so epic, so life changing that I don't even know how I got there. I need to listen.
Peace.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Bullhorn Guy
Tonight in our small group that we have every wednesday night, we talked about the "bullhorn guy." What is this bullhorn guy you ask? Where did this even derive from? Well we are watching a series of short films by Rob Bell called Nooma videos. If you are familiar with these videos I don't have to explain but to those who have no idea let me share. This guy Rob Bell makes these videos that are suppose to spark up conversation and get people thinking about certain lessons that we each face in day to day living as a Christian.
Well this weeks lesson was on the bullhorn guy. This is the fellow that stands in a crowded area with a bullhorn and pamphlets yelling fire and brimstone. The man that feels he is doing God's will but in fact is pushing people farther from the truth. This is an annoying and rather offensive tactic to use to try to bring people to the Lord. Even to a follower of Jesus these bullhorn people are just making it harder for the sane Christians to witness because of the crazy stereotype.
I never want to be caught with a bullhorn. I pray that God will keep my heart, mind, and soul away from that overzealous bullhorn. I mean I get fired up over God but I get fired up over his love and grace, not his damnation to those who oppose him on judgement day. If I weren't a believer and someone yelled out to me, "If you don't believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and savior, you're going to Hell, you will burn in the firey depths, and consumed with torment if you do not have Christ in your heart." I would be FREAKED out, I wouldn't even try and touch this Jesus creature. It creeps me out a little now and annoys me more than anything.
How would I deal with talking to these bullhorn people? What would I say? How would I react to their comments? I only pray that if this situation ever comes about I am prepared with answers to their questions.
Peace.
Well this weeks lesson was on the bullhorn guy. This is the fellow that stands in a crowded area with a bullhorn and pamphlets yelling fire and brimstone. The man that feels he is doing God's will but in fact is pushing people farther from the truth. This is an annoying and rather offensive tactic to use to try to bring people to the Lord. Even to a follower of Jesus these bullhorn people are just making it harder for the sane Christians to witness because of the crazy stereotype.
I never want to be caught with a bullhorn. I pray that God will keep my heart, mind, and soul away from that overzealous bullhorn. I mean I get fired up over God but I get fired up over his love and grace, not his damnation to those who oppose him on judgement day. If I weren't a believer and someone yelled out to me, "If you don't believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and savior, you're going to Hell, you will burn in the firey depths, and consumed with torment if you do not have Christ in your heart." I would be FREAKED out, I wouldn't even try and touch this Jesus creature. It creeps me out a little now and annoys me more than anything.
How would I deal with talking to these bullhorn people? What would I say? How would I react to their comments? I only pray that if this situation ever comes about I am prepared with answers to their questions.
Peace.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
So they landed
I got an e-mail today forwarded from my mom saying that they landed in Africa and are safe. This makes me extremely happy because there is no greater feeling than knowing that a loved one has landed safely in a foreign country, especially after a 15 hour flight.
The last line of the e-mail started with a P.S. "It's like something out of a movie, can't wait to tell you about it." I can only imagine what they are feeling. Annie has always wanted to go to Africa I bet she never thought she'd get there, God does strange things.
To me in my insignificance and my skittish nature, it almost seems impossible to me that people in my own home community let alone strangers would give me money for missions. Though they would know that they get an eternal reward, a lot of people look for instant reward. Then again these are just my faithless thoughts that I pray to never let enter my contemplation again. Because I know if I try if I just "give it a shot" anything could happen. The faith of a mustard seed right?
All I know is God will be doing great things through Annie and Brian in these next three weeks. I can't wait to hear how he worked through them. I can't wait until it's my turn, although I will wait patiently. I'm so excited because I know it's going to be more amazing, possibly beyond words. Praise God for keeping everyone safe.
Peace.
The last line of the e-mail started with a P.S. "It's like something out of a movie, can't wait to tell you about it." I can only imagine what they are feeling. Annie has always wanted to go to Africa I bet she never thought she'd get there, God does strange things.
To me in my insignificance and my skittish nature, it almost seems impossible to me that people in my own home community let alone strangers would give me money for missions. Though they would know that they get an eternal reward, a lot of people look for instant reward. Then again these are just my faithless thoughts that I pray to never let enter my contemplation again. Because I know if I try if I just "give it a shot" anything could happen. The faith of a mustard seed right?
All I know is God will be doing great things through Annie and Brian in these next three weeks. I can't wait to hear how he worked through them. I can't wait until it's my turn, although I will wait patiently. I'm so excited because I know it's going to be more amazing, possibly beyond words. Praise God for keeping everyone safe.
Peace.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
A whole new mood
I know I wrote earlier but I have this thing where I feel things so I have to write them somewhere and usually a computer is closest.
I was listening to a song called "Love on my side" while not a christian song, it still made compare some parts to life as a Christian. "I got all this love on my side" that statement struck me for some reason. Mostly the word ALL gets me, because I do have literally all this love on my side and yet sometimes I fail to reflect it back to others.
I have so much love on my side it's ridiculous. The love of a father, mother, two wonderful sisters, a brother-in-law, and countless more, but mostly I have the completely pure love of a savior. What better love is there than the love of a savior? These other loves are blessings that come from the love of that savior and I thank him for that daily.
Also, "No one ever said love was not enough" thats all it took for me to love those who loved me. I mean you don't choose your family but when they genuinely say I love you, even from the very first moment I'm sure love is instilled in a small baby when they know they are loved. Get this, even before the womb Jesus told us he loved us. Even before our mothers entered the womb we were told "I love you." The list keeps going, it only amazes me.
I don't know if you could tell but I become in awe very quickly over the smallest of things.
Peace.....................oh hey.........................I love you
k bye
I was listening to a song called "Love on my side" while not a christian song, it still made compare some parts to life as a Christian. "I got all this love on my side" that statement struck me for some reason. Mostly the word ALL gets me, because I do have literally all this love on my side and yet sometimes I fail to reflect it back to others.
I have so much love on my side it's ridiculous. The love of a father, mother, two wonderful sisters, a brother-in-law, and countless more, but mostly I have the completely pure love of a savior. What better love is there than the love of a savior? These other loves are blessings that come from the love of that savior and I thank him for that daily.
Also, "No one ever said love was not enough" thats all it took for me to love those who loved me. I mean you don't choose your family but when they genuinely say I love you, even from the very first moment I'm sure love is instilled in a small baby when they know they are loved. Get this, even before the womb Jesus told us he loved us. Even before our mothers entered the womb we were told "I love you." The list keeps going, it only amazes me.
I don't know if you could tell but I become in awe very quickly over the smallest of things.
Peace.....................oh hey.........................I love you
k bye
Journeys far and wide
Today Annie and Brian left to go to Africa. Pretty sweet, I'm way excited for them. I can't wait to hear stories and see pictures. It makes me eager to experience some of the same things and more that they will in these next three weeks.
Everytime I think of my first missions trip outside of this country, pictures run through my mind. I keep thinking about the different things I will learn about other cultures and how that experience will change me. I haven't even gotten there yet and I am overwhelmed by what I feel God will do in my life in these next couple of years.
It's gonna be a sweet life of service.
Peace.
Everytime I think of my first missions trip outside of this country, pictures run through my mind. I keep thinking about the different things I will learn about other cultures and how that experience will change me. I haven't even gotten there yet and I am overwhelmed by what I feel God will do in my life in these next couple of years.
It's gonna be a sweet life of service.
Peace.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Coming home
It's the 4th of July, and I'm home in Jamesville, and loving the time I get with my family this weekend. I love that no matter what in this house I can be completely myself and let all guards down. I'm moving towards being able to do that in a lot of social settings because I believe that in a lot of cases openness is all there needs to be to start relationships. Although I do believe that we must guard our hearts to a certain extent, I think we shouldn't guard it with top security lasers with steel gates and ninjas...thats right ninjas.
Being home this weekend I have felt the love, which is what I am training myself to do even with complete strangers. I pray literally all the time that I may love with a very real deep love, it is improving but being a fallible human doesn't help. Well, I'm so very thankful that I have a huge helping hand on my side to guide me into being successful in loving all with that deep love. Learning to love is possibly one of the hardest things to learn, not sure why, it's kind of a shame. Anyway Happy 4th everyone, have a great time with your loved ones!
Peace.
Being home this weekend I have felt the love, which is what I am training myself to do even with complete strangers. I pray literally all the time that I may love with a very real deep love, it is improving but being a fallible human doesn't help. Well, I'm so very thankful that I have a huge helping hand on my side to guide me into being successful in loving all with that deep love. Learning to love is possibly one of the hardest things to learn, not sure why, it's kind of a shame. Anyway Happy 4th everyone, have a great time with your loved ones!
Peace.
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