Coffee, Break, and Laziness

It's Christmas break and I'm pretty much annoyed with myself. Yes, I drink WAY to much coffee, yes, I sleep until 1pm, yes, I don't do anything all day, no housework, no friends here, nothing to do. However I'm super annoyed that this is my day let's start early in the day: 4am go to sleep, 1pm wake up, 1pm-4am sit and watch TV and eat. Even when I go to lay down at 4am I don't get to sleep until about 5:30am and I don't get it.

This would be my life if I didn't go to school and have friends there, this would be my reality. I hate it, even when I supposed to be on break I don't like the fact that all I do is sit around. It doesn't help that I'm broke so I can't go anywhere really and if I did go anywhere I would have to shamefully ask mommy for money.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm tired of being a little kid, but it is my fault completely and I guess this is why I'm so annoyed. I make excuses for myself, and I never live up to my or anyone else's expectations. I've always had a problem with apathy and it is still a big factor in my life. All there is to do now is just pray and try because I've been doing this for years.

Peace.